The One about Grieving

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Throughout today, I have been with family remembering my uncle for the one year anniversary of his death.  Which will follow a one year anniversary for my grandmother’s death.

I’m not too familiar with grieving on the Amith side of the family, as with my mother’s side, we grieved at the funeral and days after and that was it.  But with my father’s side, we grieved through the funeral, grieved at the 40th day of a family member’s death and now we come together for the one year anniversary.

It’s more of a celebration of the life of my uncle and remembering him with happier stories and I’m sure it will be the same for my grandmother.

But it’s tough knowing that my grandfather, grandmother and my uncle are no longer here.

While mourning, I looked around at the other family members, remembering when I was younger and when they were younger and now together, we’re older and our family has become much smaller.  Especially with the death of my grandparents and my uncle, some were the nucleus of family gatherings and prompted people from all over to come and visit.

I tend to ask people about this.  Those who have grieved over loved ones and while never easy, they also tell me their stories of how when their grandparents or someone important had died, they were the nucleus of family gatherings.

With my mother’s side, my grandparents were the nucleus.  With huge Christmas family gatherings but when both past, each of the siblings went onto create their own traditions with their own families.  And now, unfortunately the only time we are together is when there is a death in the family and it’s quite sad but it seems it happens to many others as well.

Today, was a day of celebrating my uncle’s memory.  But somehow, at this time, I don’t know if I feel in a celebratory mood at all.  I think more of how I expected him to live a long life, being vibrant and full of life.  But I feel he left us too soon and today, most importantly we remembered him and the good times but also said the same words…”we really do miss him”.

Photos featuring my uncle and a few from American Idol 2004


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Dennis A. Amith